Binging

    

                                                                    Binging

      

Binge Eating: Consumption of large amounts of food in a short period of time

Binge eating disorder (BED): is characterized by a loss of control over eating behaviors. The binge eater consumes unnaturally large amounts of food in a short time period, but unlike a bulimic, does not regularly engage in any inappropriate weight-reducing behaviors (for example, excessive exercise, vomiting, taking laxatives) following the binge episodes.

     As a competitor, I am restricted from certain foods for months on end and when the season is over its like I'm a lost puppy.. no more fish or chicken? I can eat real food? like cookies,pizza,donuts? At first its “ I deserve this, I have worked so hard” then its “ I really need to stop”. 

       I have been in this situation twice now and told myself I would never let this happen again… it seems like an uncontrollable cycle. I know only I can control what I put in my mouth and what I eat but its not that simple. Once I start eating I just can’t stop. I work so hard and after its like something takes over me and I just can’t stop when I know I should. 

    Today really hit me hard, as I once again binged. I will do so well and then bam it happens again. Afterwards I feel horrible and beat myself up over it. I say I will never do it again and that was my last time, but it hasn’t stopped. I find myself in the kitchen eating out of the cereal box or eating the whole jar of peanut butter like food is never going to be here again. Its such a vicious cycle and Im scared. I know many competitors have gone or are going through this and its a horrible, scary thing. 

I really thought a lot today about competing and my lifestyle. I thought to myself why do I compete? I am not healthy and through my whole prep I never really felt “healthy” or enjoyed the process. I always compared myself to others and it was a constant battle with me not thinking I’m lean enough.

I love the challenge but I think this challenge is creating something horrible. 

Going from your leanest, and being shredded to having a few extra pounds on you is such a mental mind game. It can really destroy you if you let it. I know I’m far from “fat” but not looking your best is a hard adjustment. People who aren’t in the fitness world can be so cruel calling you “fat” since your not stage lean or “wow she’s gained weight” .Well duh, I can’t live with 8% BF year round as a women. I like my organs and ovaries, thank you. Sure I wish I could keep my lean body with a 6 pack, but I also want a life. I want to enjoy food, family and friends. I have turned down a lot of things since I started my journey, I wouldn’t even go to dinner or the movies because I didn’t want to temp myself with food. I am not complaining about competing or saying I will never compete again, but for right now I need to focus on my health and learn how to be healthy. 

I have read many blogs lately about post competition and the struggle with binging and eating disorders. I have put things in a different perceptive after reading them and I am so happy some competitors on social media are “real” about who they are and talk about their own struggles. No matter who you are we all struggle, even the best in the fitness industry struggle. I know I can come out on top of this it will just take time. I am now reading a book to help me battle this nasty cycle. Brain over Binge by Kathryn Hansen

I hope to one day find a good balance with life and my fitness journey but for right now I need to work on myself and not worry about competing in shows.

I need to be healthy mentally as much as physically.

I hope to come out stronger and on top on this monster I have created and help other women who are struggling with the same self made monster.

First Competition Down

            I DID IT!!

              
    As for most of you know I competed in my first NPC bikini competition August 9th. This blog is a little late but better late then never right? This blog is about my experiences of competing. Hope you all enjoy it:]

                         DOUBTS

   Going into this I compared myself to every other girl on social media (competitors). I was inspired but I also doubted myself all the time. Am i going to be ready for this? Do I even have a chance? What about my boobs? and the list goes on and on... and yes I said what about my boobs because lets be honest here when fitness competitors lean out there is no way your boobs are staying. I lost mine completely! Thats why most competitors have implants and since I don't I was nervous it would hurt me. Sounds silly but its the truth. I doubted myself and never got my hopes to high since this was my first show. This isn't just about the abs or muscles you have to show off, its way more then that! You are judge by your hair,makeup, posing, body, attitude basically everything. Posing is one of the main things judges look at and judge you by. You might have an amazing body but if your posing is off it could ruin everything. I practiced literally all the time and would spend an extra hour at the gym until I got my posing on point! I would record myself and look at what I needed to improve. 

       Last weeks of prep

  

  By the last month of my prep it was getting down to the nitty gritty! I was tired, cranky, emotional and just wanted to step on stage. I actually wished this whole experience away to be 100% honest. I busted my ass and was running on barley any carbs and doing mass amounts of cardio every day. The last two weeks were the toughest. I then started water pills and depleting and doing 40mins fasted every day with 40 more mins of cardio each day. I could barley get out of bed let alone lift weights. I started to really sit back and think if all this was worth it. I spent all summer with no life, I sheltered myself from everything and everyone. I couldn't even go out to dinner because I would get really depressed and cry about the things I wanted to eat. I even walked into the mall to shop one day and had to walk past the food court and had to leave because I had a mental breakdown. Sounds really stupid but its the truth. This sport is such a mental game its ridiculous. By the time I stepped on stage I wanted it over with, all I could think about were the donuts I was about to destroy when I stepped off stage. People would ask me "are you excited?" and I would reply I'm excited to eat!! I was no longer excited about this journey or what I would place, I just wanted it over to enjoy life again. 

           The big day

   It was finally here the day I have been waiting for since April! To be honest I wasn't nervous at all, I was just ready! The night before my show I checked in with my coaches at the hotel to do posing and just to see where I stood, and they couldn't believe how I looked. Joe told me I would have one of the best waist at the show hands down. After hearing that I felt relief and ready to take the stage no matter what happened. I thought I would compare myself at the show to all the other girls and get discouraged but I didn't, I was so focused on myself and having a good mind set. The stage is nerve-racking lets be honest.. you get up in front of everyone and you have a panel of judges obviously judging you and you have about 15 seconds to show off all your hard work you've done for the past months. YES 15 seconds!! I just kept telling myself you have 15 seconds to rock this, there is no time to be nervous. My hair, makeup and tan were done.. It's the moment I've worked so hard for, its time to go show it off. As I'm standing in line waiting to go on stage for my open class, I started to get butterflies and shake.. but I just kept saying 15 seconds, 15 seconds. I went on stage, I didn't trip in my heels, I didn't fall, I felt I rocked it!! I felt so happy with my posing and my appearance. Waiting for all the other girls in my class to finish, it was time they started calling out 1st call outs. They called 3 girls out then they said my number 35! I didn't even know what to do I was so excited to just get first call outs at my first show. They then compared us 5 girls and moved us around.. The judges then said 32 and 35 switch, I look down and I was in the square box.. FRONT AND CENTER!!! I couldn't believe it, I had tears in my eyes. For my first show I was so unbelievably proud of my accomplishments. I then went on stage for my second class, novice. The same thing happened, FRONT AND CENTER. I got off stage and i couldn't believe this was happening. "Is this real life?" I kept saying. I didn't know for sure if I had placed first until finals later that night. After pre-judging I went donut shopping:] God I couldn't wait to eat everything and anything! I went back for finals and took the stage again. And I DID IT! First place in both open and novice! I was so excited and so proud! I received 2 trophies and a crown but that didn't matter as much as the head judge telling me he couldn't believe this was my first show and I have so much potential. I literally cried and was so humble about this whole experience. 

           Post Show 

   After my show as you all know by now I couldn't wait to eat! When I got off stage i shoved cookies, brownies, gummy bears in my mouth and to be honest I don't even think I tasted them. I wanted cheesecake factory to celebrate this amazing experience, but by the time we got there I was so sick from all the sugar I already consumed I couldn't even eat. I was miserable! I hear competitors talking about binge eating after shows and how some gain 20 pounds in a month. I told myself that will never be me and that will not happen! Well guys it did happen, I was so restricted for months of sugars and food that once I started I couldn't stop. I would eat so much until I literally would have to throw up. I would feel miserable and then get really depressed because everything I worked so hard for was going right down the drain. I gained about 12 pounds in 2 weeks and I knew I needed to stop. Easier said then done, trust me. I started a journal and wrote how I felt each day, what my goals were and why I started this journey in the first place. It really helped me focus and come to realize food isn't everything. I eat for satisfaction of taste for about a couple minutes but my hard work I put into this took months. Why would I want to completely destroy all of that. I decided I needed a change, I needed to find a little balance in my life and to not be so restricted on prep so I wouldn't go through another binge post show. I also want to enjoy this experience and not feel so restricted not only of food but life! So I decided to get another coach and after looking into many I think I found the right one. My prep feels like a piece of cake. I do what I love and thats lift heavy and eat! Okay I don't eat junk but healthy whole foods and I get a cheat meal a week which I find extremely important! I don't call it a cheat meal I call it a keeping me sane meal. I am no longer restricted of sodium, artificial sweeteners or dairy. I feel happy and extremely healthy unlike my last prep. 

           Whats next?

   I will be competing November 1st in Sacramento and then I will be competing for my Pro Card at Nationals in Miami November 22nd. I plan on bringing a completely different package to the stage with a whole different mind set then just wishing this experience away. 

                        Stay tuned :]

Pumpkin Protein Muffins

Who Loves Pumpkin?

&& healthy recipes?

This is a simple recipe for pumpkin lovers. Being back on prep and it being fall I don't get to enjoy all my pumpkin favorites:| I came across this recipe and thought I would try it out and let me tell you I'm not disappointed one bit! 

Ingredients:

1 1/2 cup Vallina Whey Protein

1/2 cup old fashion oats

1/3 cup oat flour

3/4 cup canned pumpkin 

2 large egg whites

1/2 cup unsweetened vanilla (or plain) almond milk

stevia to taste

1 tsp cinnamon, vanilla extract and baking powder

1/4 tsp pumpkin pie spice

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees

Mix all dry ingredients together

mix all wet ingredients

then mix together

place in baking cups or a well sprayed muffin tin 

Bake for 15-18 mins or until cooked all the way through

70 calories, 1g fat, 9g carbs, 6g protein and 2g fiber

Topped with fat free redid whip (or fat free cream cheese or pumpkin PB).

Enjoy:]

Almost competition day

It's the day before I step on stage.

--------------------------

Well it's almost here, tomorrow is the day I will be stepping on stage and showing off all my hard work and dedication.

It's crazy to me that it's really happening. I remember like it was yesterday being 8 weeks out and thinking I had forever before this day, and here I am in California 1 day out from my first NPC show. 

I started this journey back in April and became addicted to my progress and the struggle. 

I set a goal in April and I told myself I will do this and I will give this 100% dedication.

And to be honest I have truly stuck to my word since that day.

The first couple weeks of prep were miserable..

I was tired, no energy and my workouts were a bunch of plyos that I wasn't use to doing.

So I was dying a little inside.

It then got easier after a few weeks and when I started seeing the progress I was making, I don't think I have ever been so motivated in my life.

The weeks went by and I was in the gym 6 days a week busting my ass.

Day in and Day out.

I started going to the gym 3 times a day when I was 4 weeks out.

If you want something you have to put in the work thats for sure.

I've sweat like a pig, I've cried over the cupcakes I couldn't have, I've struggled to get out of bed at 5am for fasted cardio, and I've wanted to give up when I had plyo's for leg day.

but the feeling I am going to have tomorrow stepping on that stage won't make any of that matter.

Walking off that stage I will be proud of myself for my accomplishments.

I will stay proud no matter what happens, I know that I gave it my all and thats all that matters.

I have had great opportunities since I have started this journey.

I am about to announce very soon that I am now a sponsored athlete, I shot for Iron Man Magazine and had many other photo shoots.

I am truly doing what I love and have found such a strong passion for this sport and lifestyle.

I am not just on a diet or just a workout plan, this is my lifestyle..

this is who I have become.

yes i can't be as lean and have my ridiculous abs like I do right now all year around (wish I could:|), but its not healthy and I don't want to weigh 110 pounds being 5'4 my whole life.

But even in my off season I will continue to be healthy workout everyday and improve for next years shows.

I can't wait to find a healthy lifestyle balance.

 like every other competitor I have had many days I will cry over food or just want to eat everything.

Have I gave in and ate everything?

NO

It's all a mind game.

and thats why I love this sport so much.

It's you vs. you

What is unhealthy food really going to do for you?

you have a choice

it could taste good for about 3 mins?

or 

you could look in the mirror and have the body you've always dreamed of?

your choice.

And trust me I am not saying never eat things you enjoy because I believe we all need balance to keep sane!

I've had days I wanted to give up.

I've asked myself is this worth it? Do I really want to do this?

But that made me strive for more.

I feel like when you struggle or maybe even fail at something thats what makes you successful as a person.

If you are determined and strive for your dreams and success you will one day meet them.

------------------------------------------------------------

I don't think I could have done this without all the people that have stuck behind me, motivated me, pushed me, and truly wanted to see me succeed. It's such an honor for people to tell me I am their inspiration and they hope the best for me.

It makes me push harder to succeed.

We all need people when we feel weak or down to help bring us up.

So thank you everyone who has followed my journey to this very weekend and wished nothing but the best for me.

I'm chasing after my dream..

and I won't stop until I get it.

Competing

                                                              Tips: Competing  

Money:    So I decided I wanted to compete in April and like I said in my first post I really researched the right trainer/team to join because of how expensive this sport is. This is not a cheap thing to get into, but you have to spend money to make money. (If you want this to be your career). Training can be anywhere from $800-1500 for 12 weeks of training or more,  your suit could be $200-700 and then when you sign up for a show you have to pay an entry fee and get your NPC card to even compete in a show,  which my first show is $120 and NPC card is $120, also all the supplements you need, ( I only use Whey). I usually spend at least $100 in food each week for meal prepping. Then come show date you have hair,makeup, tan and maybe a photo shoot... 
Needless to say if you do this sport be prepared before hand and really find out what your getting into before just jumping right into (money wise).  A lot of people think they want to compete but they don't know all details that come with competing.


Dedication:   Competing is difficult but nothing a human can't handle. It just takes dedication and determination, you have to have a lot of will power to not pick up a donut and eat one:| (the struggle). Meal prepping and having a 6 pack bag or something like it is is key to this sport. Prepping is very important, if your not prepared your setting yourself up for failure.
I love this sport because its a challenge against yourself no one else. You have to push yourself day in and day out. In any sport its all about how bad you want something, will you spend hours practicing basketball to become better? Well in this sport will you wake up 5am and do fasted cardio and then go back to the gym later to lift to become better? Will you sacrifice that cake for a plain no sodium rice cake? Will you push yourself beyond where your mind wants to stop?

                    I get asked all the time, how can you do this?
Want to know how? Because I WANT THIS SO BAD. I live and breathe this, and I won't stop until I reach my goal.  


 Mind:  Its you vs. you and you can only decide how far you want to takes this. Its hard, I'm not going to lie, some days I want to give in and throw in the towel. Have I? Hell no I want this so bad, I can taste it. Its not all about winning when you step on stage, this will be my first time competing come August. Do I want to place? Who doesn't, but I won't be mad or disappointed when I don't because I already won something, after a 12 week prep I won the struggles of wanting to eat, not wanting to go to the gym, prep breakdowns, and most importantly I won myself. I've come so far there is no room for disappointment, I am so proud of what I have accomplished and it won't stop here.


Inspire:   I feel that the most rewarding feeling about this whole thing is the people behind me. I have inspired people to better themselves and I will get emails saying how I inspired someone to become better and start a healthy lifestyle. I feel truly blessed to help others and know that I was an impact on their lives. The words of encouragement are so helpful and make me want to push myself harder because I have amazing people behind me who are rooting for me. Some people will want to see you fail, but thats only because they don't have what it takes to do something like this. Its called jealously! Don't ever let someone destroy your pride or your accomplishments because they will try, find people who stick behind you and encourage you to do better. In this sport you need a huge support system! When I want to eat something bad or when I am having a bad day its nice to have some support behind you to remind you why you started this journey.

4 weeks out!!! Ready to push every limit possible:). P.S....



                        TROPHY'S AND DONUTS

                               
         

Introduction to MY life story.

I guess I should start my blog out by introducing myself.

             My name is Jenn Chambers

Some interesting personal facts about me:
I'm from A small town in Ohio, where i was born  and raised on a farm.

                 Yes, I'm a Country Girl
I have horses and a teacup pig named Lucy.
Lucy is pretty much the coolest pig ever.
I'm the biggest daddy's girl EVER.
I think this next fun fact is very interesting about me: My father  had me when he was 64..yes thats right 64. My father is now 88  years old and i'll be 23 in October. I know your head is spinning so the next question I get is OMG how old is your mom? And no my mom is not that old she just turned 51 this year. I was raised the old fashion way, we always sat down as a family and prayed before dinner and did everything as a family unlike now days, where everyone is to busy to make family time a priority. My dad is my rock , he's my strength when I am weak. Without having him in my life I wouldn't be the strong independent woman I am today. He raised me to be the strongest most hard headed woman alive... thats no joke.
 In the last year it has been a struggle, in and out of hospitals and surgeries  but as a family we can overcome anything. He's strong for me so I stay strong for him.

He's taught me many valuable lessons in life that I will never forget.He's molded me into the person I am today.
He's taught me to never take a single second for granted because you never know what may happen.I wish every child now a days would understand the importance of not taking their loved ones for granted for they might not be here tomorrow. Life is to short to argue or worry about the little things.
 Now my mom is my biggest supporter and is always there for me when I need her the most.Even when I have the dumbest idea she will be right behind me to cheer me on. She's the strongest women and always holds our family together.
Needless to say I have the best parents in the world.
END OF STORY 

Well.. I guess you all want to know how my fitness journey started, so  here it is.

I 've always been athletic  and did sports in high school , but after high school I started lifting and working out at least 5 times a week.

I was pretty much a skinny, cardio bunny that lifted light weights.

But don't get me wrong I wasn't one of those girls that didn't know what they were doing in the gym.
I had one problem though..

I was always worried about what the scale said, if it said 118 pounds, I was at the gym on the treadmill running for hours.

I was petrified of the scale coming even close to 120.

I weighed 109 in high school and ate super clean and would always worry about getting fat or not being a size 0. 

My senior year of high school, I started partying.. A  lot.

I would drink basically every single day ,missing class all the time and honestly I don't know how i even graduated.

I was the 17 year old at bars every night, and then fast food bingeing at one in the morning.
 I just didn't have a care in the world.

But that caught up to me quick, the freshman fifteen turned into the senior year of high school twenty pounds of beer weight:|.

First time I ever let myself go and weighed 130 pounds.

To me I was huge.

I partied hard and was a 18 year old badass... well thats what I thought:|.SMH...

Summer of 2013 , I  started the whole lets not eat and just get skinny diet.

I was super stressed and had a lot going on at the time so I would just never eat and I also took diet pills.

I lost about 20 pounds in less than two months and went down to 109.

I looked sick.

I  wore a size 0 or 00 and didn't eat anything, maybe 2 meals a day if that.

In my head I looked awesome.

Around December of last year, I started going back to the gym everyday and wanted to get serious about a diet and  my workouts.

So i decided to hire a personal trainer.

When I met him I weighed 116 with 23% body fat, I told him I wanted to get "toned" and he laughed and told me to never say that again.

Which being in the fitness industry now I completely understand why.

He told me he wanted to get me in 130's and needless to say I about fell over and was like hell no I'm never getting to 130 pounds again.

But after starting with him for once in my life I was not worried about how much I weighed, I went by progress and how I felt.
I then got on the scale and my weight just kept going up and up, but I loved the way I looked and felt so I stopped weighing myself and just focused on the progress I was making.
I found out weight is just a number on the scale and means nothing!
Its all about when you look in the mirror and notice your body and all the progress you have made.
..Then April rolled around and I made a decision that I was going to compete in a NPC show in October.
I am such a go getter, if i want something you best believe  I will get it.
After so much research on different trainers and teams, I found Team Edge.
I even emailed girls that were on the team to get their opinions and feedback from their exxperience.
I didn't want to spend all this money and just get the same meal and work out plan as every other girl.
 (competing is very expensive)
After a couple weeks I decided to join the team.

I finally set the date and will be competing August 9th in Orange County, California .
As of today I am a little under 6 weeks out, I am getting really excited and nervous.But I am ready to show off all my hard work.
Prepping for a show is HARD!
Not going to lie, it takes a lot of dedication and determination. I love the challenge though, Its you vs you....

My next blog will be about competing and the challenges I have gone through so far.
Stay Tuned.